Rituals…

I think rituals are an important part of staying sane in our current turbulent times and for dealing with the anxiety that accompanies many of our lives. Shit is not easy right now and I know a lot of people are scared of the uncertainty of what the future holds, I know I sure am, but there are some ways that can make things feel a little more “regular”. For me this involves rituals or small actions that I do daily or as close to it as I possibly can. It’s important to give oneself leeway, sometimes it’s just not going to happen. Some personal examples of rituals for me are to exercise at pretty much the same time everyday, cooking afternoon snacks, and trying to organize the next day before it comes even if it’s just one thing, or as simple as spending ten minutes outside in the sun. I always struggled making plans and I still get anxiety around planning from time to time, but I have found that it actually feels pretty good to have a plan, even if it doesn’t pan out exactly the way you want it to. For me the sudden lack of activities that I was used to doing was causing a lot of depression and lack of motivation to even try and do anything because “what’s the point”. Recently in order to combat this dilemma, I’ve been trying to be “productive” in occupying my time with simple rituals, as I’m calling them, in order to momentarily forget about the anxieties I might be currently struggling with. In the past I probably would have just smoked a bowl and said fuck it, a good option for a brief momentary escape from reality, but these days I haven’t been smoking as much and I find myself searching for more lasting ways of coping with these situations and personal anxieties. Now I don’t think it is healthy to work yourself into the ground trying to be the most productive version of yourself, but I do think that small steps and simple actions can help kickstart motivation and make one feel just a little bit better.

I walk forward. Sometimes I become stagnant and breath in the smells of my surroundings, a brief pause before continuing on my journey propelled by my vessel. I look around, the streets are empty, an unusual sight for someone accustomed to the busy bodies walking about. The sun has begun to set, it leaves a trail of colorful flora that illuminates the sky before it becomes enveloped in darkness. The dark is no fear of mine, it is yet another sight that changes with our perception of time. I begin to see all of life’s paths converge in the sky above me. Is it a dream or have I lived them all before? In the future? In the past? A thought so beyond the comprehension of the mind that it cannot see the limitless possibilities that are attainable. I have become limited by the words that we choose to describe out realities. I pause for a moment and breath. I walk forward.

How I learned to love food again…

I have recently come to love food again. It was never as if I didn’t like food it was just that food seemed to be somewhat cumbersome to my daily routine. I pretty much went four years through college not eating before noon. It was as if I was fasting everyday during a period of my life in which food was very necessary for my growth, health and wellbeing. I went to college and actually lost weight something many people might wish they could do, but to me it was frightening. I’m not a big guy so for me to loose weight was actually kind of depressing for me. This is especially true because I think there is a big stigma around men, food and how much they should be eating. It’s different for everybody so we must understand that first. For me, I got stuck in the routine of eating out or delivering food to my house all the time which became costly. Also due to living situations ie. living in a dirty frat house for a couple years it made it even more difficult to cook for myself. I found myself lying awake at night thinking about food and wondering if I would have enough money by the end of the month to order another meal from “insert delivery service”. It wasn’t as if I was too broke to get food either. I am very privileged to have supportive parents that helped pay for my food, it was just that food kind of was something I didn’t prioritize in my life and as such I struggled with it.

I’ve come to love food again due to one simple reason, learning to cook. Cooking was something that I was always ok at, but never felt comfortable with. I could cook simple things like eggs and pasta, and it’s not as if I’ve become a master chef at all. Most of the things I make these days are still over cooked, burnt, undercooked, or any other various ways one can “fuck up” a dish, but it is in the simple act of cooking that food became more enticing and has made me hungry again. I think spending time to learn how different ingredients cook and can be combined has become a sort of art form for myself. It is something that I feel good about when I reach an end result and thus am more proud and happy to eat it. Cooking is a skill and almost feels like magic to me now, it allows you to be creative and to play with flavors that you enjoy most. Learning how long it takes for certain ingredients to cook is probably one skill that is more difficult to learn when it comes to cooking. These times and pieces of knowledge can then be remembered for future dishes involving that ingredient. This allows for creativity as one already has a base understanding of how to cook a few ingredients and thus they can be added with other ingredients to create new things.

I think I have come to realize that food is a necessity. Everyday we eat, so why not invest time into learning how to cook what you love. I know not everybody has the time and resources, but I promise you that with practice you can chef up some pretty great meals in the same amount of time or less time than it takes for your food to be delivered to you. Also did I mention the cost. It is awesome to have the ability to cook more than what you need for a meal and then have leftovers that can then be cooked or mixed with other ingredients to make another meal. Its like recycling your food. I love it, Haha. Most of this is probably so obvious to many people, but I wanted to share how cooking has inspired me to love food again. I hope you can find the time and energy to give it a try as well.

Some things I try to live by…

If you want to achieve something you have to put in the work, so put in the work no matter how big or how small, why not start now

Everything involves progression

Try and be happy for other peoples successes… be stoked so other people will be stoked for your successes

Jealousy is something to recognize and admit to yourself and to others if that helps then move forward, do not put someone else down because of jealousy

Try not to overthink what you have done or said in the past, you said it/did it… move forward, forgive others, forgive yourself and try to be a better version of yourself in the present moment

Be kind to yourself

Listen to others, but follow your heart – love is the greatest success even if we are taught otherwise

Emotions are normal… anger, sadness, frustration… all have their place… feel them

Set goals and dreams, you can achieve it if you put your mind to it

Everyone makes mistakes, don’t be afraid of fucking up

You can’t be a perfect version of yourself all the time because that does not exist, just do the best you can

Mental health above everything

Tell your friends you love them

If you’re scared or nervous to do something you really want to do in a given moment count to three and never back out… ride or die mentality with yourself on this one

Do not be afraid to set boundaries, it is much better in the long run

Try new things… you never know what you might find

Death is a guarantee so try not to fear living

Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, recognize it, do not diminish other people’s trauma because your trauma is “worse”

Try to live without ego, ego is necessary but try and understand how it can benefit and hinder your personal growth

You are a sovereign being, make your own decisions and choices, live your life not someone else’s and respect other people’s decisions to live their lives the way they see fit

There is always someone “better” than you so stop comparing yourself to others

Try and keep the magic of childhood imagination alive as you grow older, it is truly a wonderful thing

Communication is key in any relationship

There are probably infinite realizations and thoughts similar to these that I haven’t included, but these are some things that I think may or may not help others as well as helps myself. Also I know I haven’t come up with all these things on my own. It is impossible to keep all these things in mind all the time, but I like to try and think about them every once in a while to remind myself, because often I need reminders. Also these might not all resonate with you and thats ok.

Breathe

let the waves crash over us, surrender for a moment

we are not alone, we are connected

do not dwell on the past for it is not of importance at this time

do not haste towards the future, it will come

you are required of one thing

Be, Just be

Beauty in the path less traveled. An affinity for hidden spaces within the public domain grabs me by the hand to show me something internal. The backroads, the alleyways, the courtyards. A loft hidden within an apartment building, a rooftop garden overflowing with life, a hidden cave on the edge of a distant beach, a meadow with an accompanying structure on the abandoned farm land. Something happens within these spaces that feels unique and intimate. Forgotten memories of things once past and the adoption of new ones in the face of exploration.

If only for a moment, life has become still. An emotional escapade of bamboozling proportions, we embark on this ride together. For some it has become an awakening of the mind, body and soul. A new sinew of connection is being developed between the divine self and the ego. It is not a race and it holds no bonds. In the end you cannot take it with you. Personal pleasure performed by the individual is a key to what modern life hides from us. Pursue a passion, compete against a competitive group, or perhaps even follow a simplistic path that embraces the truest form of spontaneity, if that is your desire. One must learn to acknowledge one’s own deceit, devices and detrimental mentalities, a responsibility not easily attained. Unity with the world and the bodies within it, a dance of life.